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© 2020 Ursula Jordaan. 

  • Ursula Jordaan

Ep. 14 - All The Feels Part III


As I continue with this series, I want to share something vital for me to talk about - the blame game. I know I've been talking about getting this episode up a few weeks ago and now I feel it's ready to share.


I don't want to paint the people in my life in a negative light, but I must share my truth. In this episode, I'm going to share my reasons for participating in the blame game and how I never won this game. I want to showcase how we are ALL party to this game because we look at blaming as a way of defending ourselves. It's essential to protect ourselves if we are being attacked, but we also must be aware that if we reply with those harmful actions onto others, nobody wins.


Let's change the dialogue of blame into responsibility. We are all accountable for our actions, and my family is no different, but let's look closer at the dynamic of the family. If I was abused, were my parents abused? If they were abused, were their parents abused? And if this cycle keeps going on, who is assigned the original blame to all this pain? How far back do we go in our family history to assing the original fault?


The Blame Game can be a vicious cycle without end, and as we continue on our healing journey, we honour ourselves when we can step out of that cycle and understand that those that hurt us were also injured. We must take ownership of our pain so that we don't deflect it onto someone or something else. As our abusers need to take accountability, so do we; this is how we can end the game.


Here are a couple of wonderful pages that get into 5 reasons why we play the blame game, click here and how to be stop the blame game, click here.

How far back do we go to blame?

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